Penny For Your Writing Anxiety: How Much Will You Pay?

I have a love-hate relationship with Scrivener. The irony is here I sit on the program, writing out this very blog, so this must be the love part. I have no regrets, it was $20 well spent (The $40 was discounted because I finished a Nanowrimo story. YAY! Me!) It’s not perfect, I still have a lot to learn, but it has helped revolutionize the way I pre-write…and write depending on what I’m doing.
I am writing this blog, because I’ve noticed in the last few months, I’ve not bought as many actual fiction books, I could be that my physical shelves, and digital shelves are filled with books, but I’ve purchased a ton of writing reference books, self-help books, and productivity books. I’ve also done a couple of online courses on novel, writing and productivity.
Not that I want to discredit any great authors, even writers that have made it and are trying to teach other up-and-comings the way, but also have bills to pay. It is noble to pave the way and then teach the next line trailblazers, but I don’t want to talk about them right now. I want to talk about me. (It may have sounded selfish but I have a lot of thoughts about this.)
As one of my favorite life coaches, Asha Tyson said, depression is expensive. (I’m paraphrasing) After our life-changing free phone conversation about taking the leap into publishing (I did. I took one of my any rough manuscripts, edited it, and self published it), then came the sales pitch, a $2,000 mentorship program.Of course I couldn’t afford it. That is a lot of coin. Though I’m sure people would pay it. Who wouldn’t want a someone that made it as a self-help author mentor them. Then again there was that small voice that said, if you have truly “made it” where do you get off charging people those kinds of prices, and then give you the whole “investing in yourself” spiel. Again, not knocking those that invest in their businesses and dreams, or those that are living their dreams, and helping others.
That certainly wasn’t the first offer like that I’ve had. It seems like every mentor I talked to about my struggles in writing had a $200, $500, or in the thousands mentor program and people do pay for these classes, and they do offer a lot of great things. I am also speaking about the books. There is great books out there, and there are not so great. There is a market, for writer anxiety, that I never thought about until recently. The question is, how much are you willing to pay, for your writing A-ha! Moment? You pay for the mentor, because let’s face it, time is money. I’m sorry if I sound cynical, I’m not trying to be.
Earlier this year I got the honor of beta testing the amazing Ms. Kelsey Browning’s Big Creative Project class. I absorbed a lot, and had a lot of Aha! Moments. Was it worth the pricetag? For the time, and mentorship of an amazing professional absolutely. It has helped, though I still believe I have a long way to go. I am still learning how to deal with my anxiety, and more importantly how deal with my publisher’s deadlines, and self editing my ton of rough manuscripts. Not to mention the editing, that runs in the $200 and above price range.

With that said, there is a ton of these programs,resources and books. You do want to make sure that it is money well spent. Even if it is none at all.


Big fan of author zoo and I have a lot of her worksheets on my office wall. I recommend her workbooks and etsy worksheets. I highly recommend her for fiction writers.


Writer Funk

I can’t say I have done a lot of writing this new year. Not really since Nanowrimo, which was both a success and failure. I just really didn’t like my story. Which is why I haven’t written much, I guess I have just been second guessing my skills. I am still learning and feel in no way up to where I feel I should be as a writer, but the dreams are still there. Just now there is more self doubt.

I decided the new year I was going to read more of my paperback books and have even joined a reading group. Which has had an effect on my writing. I do suffer from writer envy, which is new. I have even declined to read my little sister’s work. I don’t think I’m jealous, but I guess I am just trying to refocus, but in my defense I do offer kind word and advice when ever I do get the chance, and I do pray that she succeeds in her writing as well.

I think my muse is getting muddled in all of the self doubt and I just need to write and not care. That is when I make the most magic, when I don’t care.

I do realize that this entry is extra emotional, but what can you expect from an over-emotional pregnant woman. Yes, that is my good news. I am having a baby and I am due in early June. I just hope that is somehow contributing to my writing funk and maybe I can get over it in the later months.

Now I am doing a lot more reading. The reading challenge has opened me up to other books in the back of my book case and just some that are out of my norm, which frequently has been YA paranormal. (No not Twilight…yet) Not saying I don’t have more love for the genre. When my journey to self-publication started it was to publish my teenage wolf shifter series, so it is cool to read in the series.

I have also neglected last years resolutions to write letters. I think I wrote a few bad ones and gave up, but it did result in a nice Christmas car from a pen pal which I plan on responding to and some great advice from other fellow writers.

Anyway, there is nothing else really interesting in my neck of the woods and I’m sorry you had to listen to the incessant whining of a pregnant writer. How was your new year? Do you have resolutions involving your writing, reading, anything? Is anyone else doing the reading challenge, or any other challenge?

I’ll hopefully talk to you guys later in better spirits. Until than

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What I am reading now Wicked Fate by Tabitha Vargo


Not much progress yet but slow and steady 🙂


Am in love with this book and am eager to read the series!!

Write On! Dream On!

JulyNano……Is that my Word Count?

Camp Nanowrimo (July) is in full swing. I am in disbelief of my word count. I have decided to wing it this time and so far it is working well for me. I have been making youtube playlist, a pinterest board, and just writing. I am not sure if it is any good but I am writing so I’m content on that.



I haven’t been doing my letter writing like I should but I am probably going to start that again. Other than that there is nothing new to report. 


Just Posting Some Progress

First off who saw the Oscars. I LOVE J LAW!! She is so awesome! LOL! Love her sense of humor. Can’t wait until Hunger Games: Catching Fire comes out Friday.



Anyway, I have been working on a project and wanted to post thanks to writertopia. I love the little cartoons.

As of 3/4/2014 this is my progress of my current WIP.

As of 3/4/2014 this is my progress of my current WIP.

I haven’t written any more letters. I plan to, but I am still procrastinating. Those last few weren’t as good as I wanted.


Anyway, nothing really new to report. I just wanted to show off my word count.


Good night!

All Aboard! Next Stop Procrastination Station!

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First of all, this is another one of those magnificent times that I should be writing, but I guess I’m slacking off. I put my kids to bed about an hour and a half ago, and told myself that as soon as I put them to bed, I was going to get to work, and yet here I am. I did how ever manage to put some more songs on, my play list, test some new writing apps, get my Facebook drama fill, talk to my brother, or in other words…everything but work on my story. And here I am writing on my blog.


It is so funny how I hear that even the best writers procrastinate. It is cool to even here that they think the same way I do. During Nanowrimo, I always enjoy watching my favorite authors participate too. It is like being in the same relay with your favorite celebrity.


I have written a few letters, that is another thing I have been procrastinating. I don’t think I can always find something great to say. The one thing that I forgot comes with writing letters is, writer’s remorse. I just hope the writers I did write to, appreciated the kid words I was trying to say, while I was up late at night and sleep deprived. (Sorry!)


I think the one thing that I have taken from all of this is, regardless what you do, see it through, and do what you say you’re going to do. I didn’t mean for that to rhyme but, it’s true…to a degree. Like there was a time earlier where I wanted to send in a piece of work to a contest but my story wasn’t done. It was actually no where near being finished. So I sent the publisher and question and they sent me one back saying they would extend the dead line. Now I’ve had books that have took me a year to finish and the one I had, I finished a good 5 chapters and they weren’t so great, but I loved the concept of the story. Needless to say, the week was up and I finished I guess what you would call the first draft and sent it in. It was full of errors, and I didn’t feel to good about the work, but I sent it as promised. I didn’t think that it mattered anyway, I think they extended it as a favor for me. I don’t think they needed my little comedy romance fiasco.


Have you ever done that. Delivered half way because you promised that you would. Did you regret it. Did you feel good because at least you tried. Is it better to deliver the best you can when you can, or deliver when you say you are going to? The jury is out on this one for me. I just continue writing and try to put out my best work when I can, but then again I have always been my worst critic.


Thanks for listen to me procrastinate. I’ll see you later.


Write On.

I Just Felt Like Writing


My favorite movie of all time (at least one of them. I have quite a few.) Forest Gump. I love the simplicity of that movie. Forest was as simple as they came. He was a guy, that loved a girl, and just kept things simple, and wound up doing many extraordinary things.


One of my favorite scenes was when Forest Gump is running and he is surrounded by reporters and they are all asking him why he is running. If he is doing it for some big cause. The answer he gave was just a kicker. ‘I just felt like running.’ Not complicated at all. He felt like running, there for he did.


I feel like that when I write. I don’t write to be famous. I don’t write to be the next Stephanie Meyer, JK Rowling, or Suzanne Collins, I write because I just feel like writing all the time. I can’t stop. I think it started in the third grade and I have had an addiction ever since.


I don’t think that I am any good. (I know you’re your worst critic, and I really am mine.) I would like to put my kids through college with it and buy my family a nice house with it. Why? Because if I am going to do it anyway, it would be nice to make sure my family is well off doing it.


I have been considering publishing for a good 2 years now. My biggest stumbling block right now is editing, and of course the self-doubt. I can’t lie the small following I got on Wattpad helped it a little, but that is my biggest stumbling block.


It is times like this, when I appreciate my beta readers all the more. Since I am a terrible editor they are stuck reading a piece of work of mine that is incredibly rough around the edges. Some I would love to publish if I could, but again editing.


Anyway, I’m skipping around because I’m tired. So my name is in a book. A Stiff Kiss author Avery Olive’s new book Won’t Let Go. I gave her the idea for the imaginary town name and cemetery. I would say check out either book. A Stiff Kiss was a good read and I am currently reading Won’t Let Go. I know it’s going to be good.

Lately, I have been doing a few writing prompts, because I have been blocked and of course there is a massive snow/ice storm.


I like prompts because they help me write without trying to write a master piece. It is interesting that a lot of my favorite pieces came from prompts or just me randomly writing. I wrote a six book series as a fanfic for Twilight, because, I wondered what Bella would be like if she were black end ended up with Jacob. It was just for fun and now it is something I am pursuing publishers.


Anyway, I have a few apps on my phone that randomly select prompts. This is tonight’s prompt piece. Unedited so excuse that. 🙂


I draw in deep breaths with in my lungs and let my fingers drape on the strings. They feel like home there. My mind begins to drift for a moment the smooth wood is the soft skin of her hip. If it was that easy to hold her in my arms and play her like my guitar, exploring her delectable curves, making new rhythms with our bodies. I shake it off. I need to put my focus on the task at hand. My fingers begin their intricate dance. It is as if they have a mind of their own. I use the thump of my own heart to keep the tempo and start singing the words I wrote down. After a few slip ups, the words flow together beautifully.


Years ago, it would have taken a few tries to accomplish this, but I guess it is maturity, and the fact that sum songs just want to be written. This was one tormented me the entire night. Which was a rush I hadn’t felt in years. My guitar had been collecting dust for years now.


I hadn’t felt the urge. I hadn’t had this warming comfort in my heart since, my wife made her trip to heaven. I never thought I’d be able to feel this way again. Though Linda could never be replaced. This all happened unexpectedly.


A steady crackle filled the air and my eyes popped open pulling me out of my zone. A soft giggle filled the air. I hadn’t had an audience in decades but I appreciate the young wide-eyed princess.


Well, hello sweetheart.” I smiled.


That was pretty, grandpa.”


I chuckled. My heart warmed. I didn’t believe it was that amazing. The rhyme scheme needed work, and it was missing a proper chorus. I just chucked it up to being the opinion of a lively five year old, that loved her grandfathers voice, even if he sung the alphabet song.


I tipped my head. “Thank you very much.” I pushed the strap over my head and brushed my fingers through my gray flecked brown hair. Kayla didn’t wait for an invitation she jumped into my lap. Her weight sent a sharp pain up my leg and then my back. I let out an unintentional grunt. I knew she didn’t mean to hurt me. “My goodness, you are getting so big, sweetie.”


That was a beautiful song grandpa.” He long chocolate curls bounced and her fluffy cheeks perked. “Did you write it for grandma?”


My eyebrows shot up. I didn’t think she could read so much into the lyrics, or if she was even listening to them at all. Kayla was always smart for her age.


It sure was.” I didn’t like lying to her, but I wasn’t ready to admit who had inspired my sudden burst of creativity. I’m not sure I even want to tell my new muse. I don’t think…no, I’m sure she doesn’t see me the same way. She sees me as her landlord, and to make matters worse I am two decades her senior.


I was my natural intent to not let my little ballad see the light of day, but now Kayla has heard it. I just hope she will just brush it off, or chuck it up as just me missing her grandmother.